A grey cloud is over Lesotho in the gathering twilight of this late summer evening, hanging low over the plateaus. Thunder peals long and soft like tympanis in the distance and the lights begin to twinkle around Maseru. Fraaiuitzicht (which means “beautiful view”) I am sure had a beautiful outlook when the first small, stone house was set here over a century ago, but now most of what remains of the view towards the Caledon river and Lesotho is the ever stretching, slowly sprawling metropolis of Lesotho’s capital city. Still, if you like the lights of a city and the quiet of the country, the view—though hardly Times Square—is the proverbial, ‘best of both worlds.’
The quiet. The stillness here, as I think it is more aptly named, is deafening. I lie awake at night sometimes and if no ‘bumps in the night’ have set the dogs going, the silence literally roars in my ears. It is for me more unnerving than peaceful and yet at some point my mind becomes once more acclimated to it and I can sleep without noise. At this point I still need at least a fan and preferably music.
It’s strange that I dread the silence. Silence bares the soul and leaves our thoughts and desires naked to our introspective gaze. Its like having that dream come true where you are standing in the middle of your school or on a busy street corner and suddenly you look down you have no clothes on. It is not a matter of needing to hide anything, it is the same as that busy street corner or your school; everyone knows what is there, but you still don’t feel comfortable with it being scrutinized. I know, the analogy has gotten perhaps a little out of hand, but all the same; I have nothing to hide and yet I balk against self-scrutiny. Perhaps it is a part of looking on the finite side of the mirror that is now hazy and darkened, but then “face to face…”
When we shed this mortal coil what dreams may come, must give us pause .
It doesn’t seem to matter how much I think I know about God and eternity, the sheer vastness of Him and the void that is a timeless, and endless scope, leaves me feeling shaken and insignificant. C.S. Lewis said that we are like children pulling levers on a vast machine, unaware of what frightful consequences we may be enacting on the other side of eternity,
The days at the school allow no time for introspection. The quietest moment of the day is the few minutes of staff prayer before we open the doors and are over run with laughing, smiling faces (usually) that keep us occupied for the next several hours of our day. They are a joy, a vision of eternity in their limitless capacity for wonder, for discovery, for joy, for hurt, for loss and for disenchantment. Some of these children have already lived more hurt than I can fathom in my nearly 26 years on this earth. It slips out in little moments…a flash of anger, a look that breaks your heart, a flinch when you go to place a loving hand on their shoulder, or quietly sitting and crying at their desk sans explanation.
G.K. Chesterton said that part of God’s infinitude is manifested in a child’s ability to exult in the monotonous and every day we are reminded of this with endless games of tag and the same songs chosen for opening exercises. Their capacity for wonder and joy is truly limitless.
The town here has banks that truly hold to banker’s hours, coffee shops that close at four in the afternoon and a pace that moves as only Africa can. I don’t know if Africa is the land that time forgot or the land that just forgot about time, regardless, to the newly adapting American their complete lack of punctuality can be maddening. Once you settle into it, it becomes somewhat addicting and the thought of switching back to all-night Wal-Marts and 10 pm grocers seems ridiculous.
Well, I suppose that is all of the rambling thoughts I have for one evening. It’s time to eat and then I suppose sleep is next on the docket. Goodnight all.
I have the ability to understand fully what you are talking about but at the same time, have a completely different set of circumstances around me. I took know the feeling of a day jammed full of constant noise, but unlike you, it doesn't end at 4 pm. The city life is interesting to say the least. Shops closing at midnight, stores open 24 hours... Its an owl's paradise here! Sometimes I miss the African pace but at the same time, I am loving Asia's constant motion. Dealing with cultural differences is yet another thing we share, though Im quite sure they are vastly different in themselves. Keep up the good writing. It makes me feel closer to you to be able to read your poetic words. I love you!
ReplyDelete